On Late Night with Seth Meyers, the host took time to remind his viewers that Donald Trump was “bad at pretty much everything when it came to politics” despite him claiming the opposite.
He insisted his name was on the first Covid relief cheque even though he is “one of those rich guys who is technically a billionaire but none of his money is liquid”.
There is currently a 76% approval rating from Americans for the $1.9tn relief bill that would bring people a second cheque. “There isn’t even 76% approval in my family for my Al Pacino impression,” Meyers quipped.
But the bill remains up in the air and the Democrats have been accepting harmful modifications and refusing to boldly push it to the finish line. “Stop behaving like your own opposition party,” he said. “Now is the time to go all in while the GOP is distracted by Potato Head’s pronouns.”
One of the biggest opposers is the Democratic senator Joe Manchin who has made many complaints, including claiming that former president Franklin D Roosevelt never sent out cheques to the American public. “FDR literally signed the social security bill into law,” Meyers countered.
He called the Republican objection to this and the minimum wage reform “cruel and absurd” and that they are busy “playing dumb procedural games” to try to prevent people from benefiting.
Of the Democrats, Meyers said: “They need to stiffen their spines.”
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert spoke of the QAnon attack that was planned on 4 March as that was the day that believers thought Trumpo would be restored to the presidency yet “that did not happen but he was restored to the customer of the month at the Palm Beach KFC Taco Bell,” he joked.
Congress was given the day off, which Colbert said was “kind of like a domestic terrorism snow day as they’re both dangerous and white”.
The much-snapped QAnon shaman Jacob Chansley who stormed the Capitol, someone who Colbert refers to as a “man on the endangered dumbass list”, did an interview this week, claiming his disappointment that Trump didn’t pardon him for his crimes.
“If it makes you feel any better, the only reason he didn’t pardon you is that he doesn’t care about you at all,” Colbert said. “A lot of people have made that mistake but they got alimony.”
A new bill to propose policing reforms in the wake of the murder of George Floyd received one vote from a Republican, who then later claimed he pressed the wrong button. “He’s not fit to go on The Bachelor!” Colbert joked.
On The Daily Show, Trevor Noah spoke about Joe Biden referring to Republican governors choosing to lift their mask mandates as neanderthal thinking, “one of the most outrageous things that anybody or at least anybody on Fox News has ever heard”, he said.
Noah joked that “he forced them to acknowledge evolution” which is “the worst thing you can do to a Republican”.
Rightwing outrage also spread to Biden’s continued decision to wear a mask despite already being vaccinated. “What kind of sick person goes out of his way to set an example?” he asked.
There was also more Fox News anger over the White House’s refusal to celebrate the birthday of Dr Seuss. “How hypocritical is it to tell America that they should be listening to doctors and then literally murder an esteemed medical expert like Dr Seuss?” Noah asked.
On the other hand, Noah said that Trump “respected Dr Seuss so much he constantly spoke in made-up words”.